How to do Fourth of July

Without getting into the politics of this holiday here are some simple suggestions to have the best fourth of July possible.

It’s your day off work! Hooray! Spend it day drinking red, white, and blue drink recipes you found on Pinterest and waving flags you don’t normally think twice about, because today is about nationalism. Sure our country might go down the toilet like the UK just did in a matter of months, but our president is still black, and today is the only summer holiday that we have so LIVE IT UP.

  • Dress accordingly. Personally, I like to go with my classic matching American flag pajamas. They’re perfect for beach weather and ridiculous enough that I can get away with wearing them today. If you aren’t as lucky as I am, maybe take a trip to your local Target  and check out their inevitable section for everything fourth of July from bikinis to shirts to socks. Today is the one day where being an obnoxious American is encouraged and required.


Total Frat Move fourth of july addition
Just don’t be a total frat move.
  • Eat appropriately. I know we’re all trying to keep our beach body (whatever that means ) but today is basically the Thanksgiving of the summer when it comes to food, it’s everyone’s cheat day. So please eat like everyone’s stereotype of an American. Put BBQ chips in your bacon cheeseburger and drink as much Budweiser- I mean America- as you can handle while still having enough room for a keg stand after beer pong.
USA fruit cake
(Ina Garten’s Flag Cake for All-American as seen on Food Network’s Barefoot Contessa)
  • Listen well. What could possibly be the best playlist for this holiday? Could it be a country song about dirt roads and monster trucks? Or is it the gangster rap lyrics that describe the American struggle? Although those are both American in their own right, what I’m thinking of is truly the most American of all. Songs the describe the birth of our American, as told by our forefathers. I’m talking about none other than the Hamilton Soundtrack. Think about it, what is more American than children of immigrants and ancestors of slaves playing the roles of the founders of our country, rapping about how they fought for our right to be independent? You know your friends have been pressuring you to listen to it anyway, why not on the most appropriate of days?


  • Light up the sky Apart from what you wear, eat and listen to today, we all know the most iconic part of this holiday are the fireworks, so make sure you see them! Take a Lyft to the best view (no drinking and driving today my friend!) bring some extra beers and snacks, hold your friends close and watch the sky light up. Try not to think about how much money is being exploded in the sky that could have been better spent on public education improvements, and be thankful that you live in the most magical country in the world. Our president is black, No matter you opinions on her, we have a democratic nominee who is a woman, people are banning together for a new surge of political activism and fighting for the civil rights of every citizen no matter their physical ability, gender identity, race or sexual orientation. I’m certainly not saying our country is perfect, we all know we have a long way to go, we have a god damn oompa loompa reality show personality businessman insulting his way to the republican presidential nomination and people who cling to while not understand how old and outdated our amendments are. But it’s our country, where ridiculous and incredible things happen. So no matter your views on politics, we can come together on this day (who by the way our for fathers thought would be on July 2nd link) and say we’re happy to be Americans.



Then tomorrow we can get back to disagreeing and complaining about the frightening state of our country.


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