Confession: I don’t regularly buy bras. According to some studies, you’re supposed to replace your bra every six to nine months. I usually buy new ones once every two years. Why? Because bras are expensive and as Heather from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend would say:
(Which is to say I have limited funds.)
So here’s how I buy a bra in Six Easy Steps.
Realize your bra is getting a little worse for wear.
The underwire is gone, there are holes in the straps, the lace isn’t as cute as it once was. You’re wearing your sports bra more often than your everyday one. There are many tell-tale signs.
Check your bank account.
See if you have an extra $50 -$70 in your bank account. This could be for just one bra. Unless you go to a place that has a sweet deal maybe you can snag two!!
Find a store
There’s plenty of places online that have dope deals on dope bras (shout out ThirdLove), but sometimes you just gotta get measured and find your true size. Go to a place like Nordstrom or Victoria’s Secret where they specialize in boob holders AND have ladies who work there with special boob measuring tape.
Get those boobies measured
You gotta get measured! Obviously. Or else you’ll end up with a bra that’ll have you constantly nip slippin. Find a nice looking employee who looks like she won’t judge you (your body or your janky ass old bra) because you’ll have to be shirtless to be measured properly. She’ll put the tape around the part under you boobs, and your boobs themselves. Be chill. Make conversations. Good topics include “How long have you worked here?” Weird topics include “What are your favorite boobs to measure?” Just be super chill.
Find dat bra
Once you have your true size. Go find yourself some cute bra options. There’s about a billion varieties. You got your strapless, racerback, your tee shirt bra, push up bra, bralette or a bandeau if you’re feeling fancy. Grab all the bras you want to try on in your size and have at it!
Find a sale and make that purchase
Once you find the bra or bras you like. Check out those prices and see if you can find a sale where you get two for one or half off. I personally get one strapless and one push up. That way I basically have three bras AND lucky for me there was a two for one sale so I managed to snag two bras for $52. Still, a shit load of money to spend in my opinion, but bras are mad important and make a huge difference when they’re good bras. It’s basically an investment in your body.
I could write a whole thing about how bras are just another form of the existence of the patriarchy being in control and forcing us to conform to old school gender stereotypes.
(But I like bras.)
I like feeling feminine and confident and like an adult. I like that there are so many options and how cute they are. Obviously, I hate how expensive they are. But bras are bras and I need them to wear my clothes properly so, for now, I’m a bra wearing lady.
And I know now I won’t go two years without buying a replacement bra.
I’ll probably just go one.